Im so tired of this job, so bored, I just want out, I feel its killing me not so softly.

Quit then no

Eh no, Im just being a spoilt lazy brat.

It's ok to put your foot down sometimes

Yes, but I just want to put my feet up.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

It crept up on her quietly this time, with no warning. 

She was reading a book on her flight home. It was a good book. Mort by Terry Pratchett. She'd read it before, laughed out loud. But this time she found herself taking it very seriously.

She shut it halfway just as the flight was about to land. She looked up and swallowed hard. Quite suddenly she was aware of the countless strangers around her. Living breathing sweating people. Each looking different from the other, each with an entire history an entire life she knew nothing of and will never know anything of.

So? So what so what so what. She shook herself. The lady next to her grunted her disapproval and went back to drooling on the window. Argh, so what, why did it feel so weird. She turned to her right, and an old muslim gentleman on the other side turned left and stared straight at her.

She was the first to look away. She was surprised to see how much that had shaken her. Was he still looking? What if she hadnt looked away, would he have said something? Would what he said have changed her life?

She forced herself to look at him again, he was reading a newspaper. No. He isn't some messenger. No, reality as she knew isn't slipping away into crazy. Everyone's just normal doing normal things. Turbulence.

Is it going down? Will this plane crash? Are these thoughts you have when you know somehow that you're going to die? She grips her seat handles hard. She notices that the man to her right counting something with his fingers. What? What is it. What is it. 

It's nothing. She is pleading with her brain to stop with the drama. The flight lands just fine. She can't get her heart to stop pounding. 

She looks down at her hands, turns them over. Stares at her palms. She doesn't know why that action always grounds her, stops her from screaming.

She calms down, looks up. 

She screams.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

I have a way, for us all to be happy

for us all to feel fine, to be satisfied

 

It involves us following a rule,

a principle, that might help us get by

 

say it with me.

I am a rock, you are an island.

 

I am a rock, I have no feelings

you are an island, you need no friends.

I am a rock, I have no opinion

you are an island, you need no help

 

I cant bring myself to follow this rule though,

I believe more in

 

I am some fruit squash, you are a slurpie.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

its amazing how sad we feel when someone dies, but couldnt care less when theyre alive.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Gur Naal Ishq Mita

I wonder what that song means.  The whole thing is absolute gibberish to me, but how Ive enjoyed it over the years.

When I was young(er), I think 12? who knows, I used to imagine the whole song was sung in a made up language and it inspired me to make plenty of my own. Usually the tunes were borrowed from Rahman or BSB (yo), but eventually (sung repeatedly with fair precision over a few days) they evolved into my own sound.

wah.

If someone came and said, hey man for one song we will allow your donkeybraysingvoice to be replaced and become perfect, what song do you choose?

I'd choose 'Aaj Jaane ki zid na karo'.

But first, I'd be all - how can you make that happen for me man?
They'd be all - its called a wish, we'd grant you the wish and it'd just be.
Ok, but are there conditions, like I would need to be on a stage and singing to a hundred people?
No...no nothing like that. Geez, accept a wish granting gracefully would you.

Hmm

Then I thought, I wonder if that was a wise choice. Being a Tam, I've always wanted to shove something in the face of those chicks who'd come over and plop themselves down in front of our nicely decorated Golu and start singing their hearts out while the entire family muttered in approval and slapped their thighs in tune (not lewd come on).

But, now I could sing beautifully as well - except everyone would be all, what is this sadhindisong cheh, come on sing about Ganapathy. I'd be all - oh, sorry I need to pee - and hide in the loo till they left.

Sad.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

my love for you
fills songs with meaning
that make them unbearable to listen to,
and make it difficult to breathe.

damn you man.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Dog days

It worries me, that I may not be enjoying life as much as I should be.

I can hear my past self in future saying to my future self, "eh man, those were good years, why you didnt enjoy" and I'd be all "what, I cant hear you over this crying baby" and she'd be all "facepalm*".

 

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Directions

you could sing with a crackly voice, it would suit you
who wouldn't it suit. It would suit everyone.
croon, you could croon
and go into a high whine at some point
you could let rough breathing in between notes be heard
you could let a smile be heard
a half smile, a crooked terrible smile
you could grip that microphone like its making music, not you
like youre squeezing sound out
throw your shoulders back now,
look straight at me

that was good

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

cultivate some patience
there is more to life
than racing between speed bumps

 

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Madurai

I was in Madurai a week back, man violent (sounding) folk man.

We were quietly standing around waiting for VIP ENTRANCE into temple main area when this fellow comes and he's all (in tamil, but translated for your benefit):

Fellow: EY LET ME IN

Temple Guy: NO, GO STAND IN LINE

Fellow: WHY SHOULD I STAND IN LINE YOU GO STAND IN LINE, LET ME IN

Temple Guy: NO, I AM TEMPLE GUY, YOU GO STAND IN LINE TO ENTER.

Fellow: Looks at us YOU ARE LETTING OUTSIDE PEOPLE IN AND NOT MADURAI LOCAL PEOPLE (Curse word)

Temple Guy: THEY BOUGHT TICKETS

Fellow: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM

Temple Guy: GO STAND IN LINE

Fellow: YOU ARE MESSING WITH THE WRONG MAN (Curse word x 2)

Temple Guy: EY MAN

Fellow: DONT MAKE ME GO MENTAL ON YOU.  ILL BE BACK WITH MY MEN.


geez.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Kambackt Eeshq

Can you call "reading Elle Decor and feeling jealous" a pastime? Well, its mine. I do it slowly and with concentration.

I wonder though, am I going all EVIL EYE on these people featured in ED? I look at their houses and walls and thingumajigs and go, wtf ya so unfair. Then I look at these sexy designers with awesome jobs and go, wtf ya so unfair. Jealous jealous jealous.

I dont mean to cast evil eye and all but man, I mean, you did something to deserve that amazeballs house and that sexy job. Right?

If you didnt, I shall press the EVIL EYE RELEASE button.

feh. pointless


----


Went somewhere for dinner yesterday and food was so fancy but so bad. Every item had some nonsense thrown in for good measure which was a bad measure because it crappified a good product.

Stupid.


---


Im such a lazy mf. If I want my life to change, I just expect people around me to change their lives so I can get what I want. Yes, Im talking fully abstract and you wont know what this is about EVER. but well.  I just wish i was a doer - I wish I changed my own life by my own actions. I will try and do that now.

Flopshow.


--


I saw a sign board which said DO NOT GIVE ARMS TO BEGGARS.
Haha.

Ok, truthfully, there is no such signboard.  Well, except in my head. Its red letters on a yellow background.

All CAPS.

---


My dashed lines arent uniform - I wonder if that bugs anyone. DASH YOUR LINES PROPERLY MAN they think and I'm all F YOU and theyre all DONT YOU WANT ME TO READ YOUR BLOG and i'm all please stop yelling at me

--   ---- -

ha.

---

I wish I was golden, just pure and nice and proper. Thoo, don't be dirty. I wish I was good. How is it that I know what Good would be and then I just continue my own dirty way.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

you have permission to seize
to overhaul
to erase and rewind
my permission is no good, but
if it were
you have it.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

All I do is wait

It sure feels that way. 

I sit here, and I wait for the next thing.  I am constantly in a state of waiting.

Waiting for the day to end, waiting for the week to end, waiting for the next big thing. Waiting to grow up.

It felt ok to feel that way when I was a kid. All kids somewhere just wait to grow up, to be big and do adult things, like drive a car or sleep late. (what bugger all mundane nonsense to grow up for, what a bad deal)

Hardly ever feels like I want to hit the pause button and take in the scene.
 

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

there was a fish who loved flowers
they took him to a pyschiatrist and broke him.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Hai Frandz

I was going to post a hip hop song I made for a friend here. Then I realised its being fully hardcore and I have no clue who reads this blog. I might trip and fall and end up hurting Uncle Rajapandian's feelings.

Geez. How carefully we tread, how carefully even them badasses tread brah.

Im not a bad ass.  But I do surprise myself by doing some bad ass things now and then.  Actually, why lie to you.  I surprise myself when I almost don't do necessary bad ass things.  When I cry and feel sorry for myself and almost let some idiot ruin my day. Who is that girl man, how to shut her up.

Im not a bad ass. but I refuse to be a wuss.

My dad stepped in recently though, and shook me out of a potential 'feel like a craphole for life cos I couldnt stick up for myself' situation. He really put things in perspective.

My dad's a sensible guy. and very 'say what he thinks' and he thinks Im that way as well. I suppose I am (but with some sense of fear).

Sometimes you need people to remind you who you are.

What.  You don't?
Fine, man. I do

Can I remind you youre a foolhead?


----


Im hungry.  Ordered some yumzers chinese food.  Chilli potato and misc EXOTIC vegetables in Hunan sauce. Hakka noodles.

Yes I'm a vegetarian, how about you stop being a cliche?


---


I want to watch sexy EmranHashmi in letest movie.  He's a hottie.  (Uncle Rajpandz, stop reading if this offends you man, who called you here).  Judge me all you want.


ok bye
 

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

ask me any question and I'll tell you no lies

go on

Ok, what is your biggest fear?

no lies.

...




hahahah

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

plop plop plop plop

I like these Mumford & Sons fellows a lot.  I wouldn't say I love all their songs, but I do like quite a few. Discovery thanks to JANGO radio.

I wonder why its called JANGO radio.  Well, I added the ALL CAPS effect, they just go by Jango. But I feel, no wait, I feel that a word like Jango demands ALL CAPS treatment. JANGO. I mean, it wants to end with an exclamation mark. Its calling out for it, ignoring that would make no sense.

----

No, I'm not Trying to sound like a fool....


Your face sounds like a fool.

----

Yesterday is history, tomorrow's a mystery,
today's a gift, which is why its called the present.

That makes some sense, fine. But, but
the future, noone knows what the future holds. I'd say that was the gift
and the future should've been called present.
Today could be called history as much as yesterday, who kheyres.

----

I write a lot of stuff I say in conversation to my husband down here. He never reads my blog.
useless.

----

Hi Sneha




 

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

hello miscellaneous animals

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

cream roll mutton roll chicken roll ham

Does anyone remember / know this hand-clap (?) game?

Ham cheese
Ham butter
Sauce potato
chip chip chip
Sauce potato
chip chip chip
creamrollmuttonrollchickenroll
Ham.

Which us vegetarians ofcourse converted to:

Yam cheese
Yam butter
Sauce potato
chip chip chip
Sauce potato
chip chip chip
creamrollmuttonrollchickenroll
Yam.

No, I don't know why the last but one line was spared the veg conversion.

----

Speaking of rolls.  I've learnt that I'm somewhat addicted to roleplaying games.
See what I did there.

Ok, the alternative was for me to talk about how
I'm no playah
but I ama role playa
mothafoka

Well, let's not get kinky carried away here. I'm talking about phone apps, video games and computer games. Let's see, on my phone I have:

(a) A farm;
(b) A dinosaur park (Jurassic Park mind you);
(c) A clan;
(d) A modernfashiongirl yo (pointless app where you have boyfriends by flirting with them and buying them gifts and then if you kiss them lots they will buy you gifts - the app lets you know what gifts you can expect from what boys before you 'date' them and once you get the gift you want you break up with them and move on to the next one.  All these gifts along with clothes you buy from...

Ok, this could take a while. Let me get into it though:

A - Girl gets a haircut and a job at some fashion place.  The level at which she works depends on how many points her outfit earns her. Each outfit item is marked (shoes - 5, handbag -7, so on)
B - Girl gets money from job so she can (i) woo men (ii) buy more clothes.
C - Girl gets stuff from guy which also have points.
D - Girl upgrades outfit, ditches guy, moves up the ladder at work, earns more money

AND REPEAT.

Anyhow, continuing
(e) A monster pet shop;
(f) Hot dog bush (where GBush has to make hot dogs and sell it to people and go up to setting up a restaurant somewhere fancy); need I go on?

Then I have LA NOIRE on my xbox which I love.
Then I have SIMS 3.

Now SIMS 3 is a whole different obssession ha.  I justify it saying it's like having a giant moving interactive doll house (which it is). But once I start, I go on for hours and I (actually) forget to BLINK. So my eyes get fucked.

Alright, enough of this for now.

---

I love saying Brah. Not like the underwear, but the stylised BRO. 

What's up Brah.

But my phone always corrects this to Brag.
This correcting thing is a piss off.  Here's a conversation with Husbu today:

Husb: I'm having sambar rice at saravan bhavan.
V: Oh, have a parrot
V: A parrot
V: A parota
V: Geez
V: I love their parrots
V: ARGH
Husb: !

ok bye


 

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

How about this, I will not judge you on the music you listen to.
If you listen to

Hit me baby one more time

or

2 become 1

or

Stairway to heaven

or

November rain

and believe that is the song that touches you


It's fine. I will not judge you. Music should touch you, any music can touch you.
Fuck anyone who judges you on that.

I watched ROCKSTAR thinking - what the hell -

but then, this song Kun Faya Kun - ah

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

All hail Gobi M.

Have you heard

me voy a morir de tanto amor

It's a song I shazamed (you better know what that is) from a Mad Men episode of Betty giving birth to Gene (third child of 'oh so' handsome DON DRAPER).

Its nice.




Separately

I love GOBI machurian.
I've tried mushroom and vegetable manchurian, and I'm sorry to say (or am I) that GOBI beats them all half if not full to death.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

I would like to say, I shouldnt be allowed online when drunk.
But, F. that. I should be allowed online when drunk.
I say much more  and i embarrass sober me - which is WOO HOO.

Hello Sober Me.
What do you think of this ha?

Well, not very much I'm afraid

You're afraid?
BWAHAHAHAHAH

Well no, not literally

You said you're afraid but.

Ey. Who allowed you access to this blog

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Cuticle

cu·ti·cle

noun \ˈkyüt-i-kəl\

 

1: an outer covering layer: as

a: an external envelope (as of an insect) secreted usually by epidermal cells

b: the outermost layer of animal integument composed of epidermis

c: a thin continuous fatty or waxy film on the external surface of many higher plants that consists chiefly of cutin

d: the outermost membranous layer of a hair consisting of overlapping scales of epithelial cells

 

2: dead or horny epidermis

 

 

 

 

What a phenomenal waste of a good word.  It should have been used to define babies or puppies or small rats. I should make my own dictionary.

 

 

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

when I'm looking at you, you're so beautiful
I feel like my entire being is being crushed like a piece of paper heading for the bin.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

your face

Do you know what a good retort is to

let's see

EVERYTHING.


Your face.


Disbeliever, ok here lets try it:


Mr. Bimbi:  This photo looks like it was taken by an amateur.
Coolio: YOUR FACE looks like it was taken by an amateur.

---

Mr. Bimbi: Those jeans are not working for you.
Coolio: Your face is not working for you.

---

More coming soon.
 

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

did you know

spending the whole weekend reading books
makes you feel less like a worthless piece of poop

I'd forgotten

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Youve got a friend like me.

I wrote a 4 page long letter to a friend.
Then I added a handmade sticker and a small VGR Love Coupon (TM).
I also drew some stuff on it.

What are you, 12?

Ey, shut it. I am in no mood for you today.
Where was I, right, I wrote a FOUR page long letter. All handwritten and everything.

Would've never guess when you said 'wrote' two times.

*Ignore*

Man, I can be such a good friend sometimes. I write letters, I get little gifts, I drop work and chat for hours about miscellaneous problems, I'm loyal also.

Wah.

No really, I've stopped talking to / bitched out / thrown horrible looks at / tripped (ok no) people that have bugged my friends. Ironically those 'friends' continue to be palzforevah with the said baddies. Geez.

Chaddi Baddies.

No, baddies. Like bad people.

Mamy Poko Pants

What?
 

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

hey, you next to me

Does the volume level of music from my earphones amaze you?
Do you think I may well be deaf or heading there?

I want to go dancing.
I didn't say with you.

Would you date someone called Carly?
What if she was really pretty?
What if she made really good sambar?

Eh.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

bleargh manifesto

It's another one of those.  You know, those days where everything that's ever bugged you EVER pops up in slow yet sure succession and kills your normalhood.

Glasses fall and break again.

Maid announces proposed absence for next 5 days, today.

Ants have eaten the best of my almonds and most of my dates.

Skin break out alert.

Nice shirt does not fit anymore.

'That annoying girl''s face is all over facebook. What the heckhole is up with that? (Separately, how is it some people have faces which activate PUNCH ME impulses for no apparent (except their face) reason?)

Work, there is Work again, how the..and so much irritating bull crap work where the only answer my brain comes up with after much consideration is I DO NOT GIVE A

Tomorrow is not a holiday.

Life questioning questions alert.  Eh man, why today? Go. When I'm lazing around watching Packed to the Rafters, appear again then.

Gossip Girl ended on TV with the most crapshit ending ever - which I already knew - but today had to be the last day. I don't know if I feel relief in that I dont have to watch that bloof ever again or what.

ARGH. WHAT A USELESS FEELING FEELING.

I want to go home and embroider a onesie and finish my Welcome Back flyer and continue my Dangerous Dacoit comic series.

I want to go home.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Love these songs, love the videos